make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
How does one acquire holy water?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
