oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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