i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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