I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
