I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
