my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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