and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
