meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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