Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
