I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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