i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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