i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
