from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
