nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
