she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
