You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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