Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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