Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Mom said you looked used
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize