i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize