PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
