If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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