So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
