oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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