xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
