he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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