thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
