i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
