its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
soo... how was my night?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
