lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
