I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
not ubering you a puppy
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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