i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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