also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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