well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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