hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
