I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
