she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
