we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize