I smell stomach acid.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
