alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
