My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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