That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
