Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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