Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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