i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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