I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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