The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
