Heybabeimwearingurpanties
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
