wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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