Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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