Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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