the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
how drunk are you?
Several
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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