got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
