my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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