wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I have already put on my inside pants.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
