Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
