Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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