An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
