It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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