Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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