Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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