I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I wish I only lived at night.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
