but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
