That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
