The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
