too bad you live with your parents still
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
