My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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