One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
