im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
